Single man? Please come to the front row…

I do not go very frequently to the cinema in Kuwait, mainly due to three reasons: Firstly, because the portfolio of movies is quite limited and usually very American. Secondly, because movies are censored and films are cut with no mercy (whenever there is something which might not be of the taste of the Committee of Censorship, with something as light as a kiss –in the lips-). Lastly, but not less important, because the AC is set to something around 5C, which makes you fight for survival, rather than focusing on the movie and enjoying it while you are eating your pop corn.

Still, yesterday I put myself a long-sleeve shirt, a jacket, a winter pashmina, thick trousers and socks and decided to go with some friends to watch “Inception”, from Leonardo di Caprio.

I told them I would buy the tickets online, and so I did. Was not the first time I was buying tickets online, but there was something in the process I had never given importance to before: for men, there is seat segregation according to their marital status.

In the on-line purchase process, after selecting the cinema, the movie, the time and the number of seats, there is one more question before selecting the seat position: Are you a “bachelor” (man that has never been married) or “family”?

I was a bit distressed by this question. Well, we were 4 friends, 3 girls and 1 guy, all single. So my mind started to think: should I sit the guy apart? And we, girls, all single? We are neither bachelors nor family, so should we sit on the limbo, since there is no such “female” area? And even less of a “single female” area?

I understand why this separation is done. It is mainly targeting Kuwaitis. I know (I’ve suffered myself) how persistent and harassing some young Kuwaiti males can be, and how disturbing this is for ladies. They have earned their reputation, and personally I am glad this separation is done. But then, at least, why the “Families” section is not called “Families and Ladies”? I know there are also many modern Kuwaitis and other Arabs going to the movies with mixed groups of friends. How are they suppose to sit?

I finally bought the tickets for the family area, which is what people normally do, but still, although I personally think this segregation is positive (selfishly speaking) a bit more clarity on the seating areas and classifications could be useful for us expats.

There's milk and there's MILK...

It might sound very silly but one on the things that I miss big time every time I go back to Spain is fresh milk.

Yep! For the exception of one brand, Letona, which (1) I personally do not like and (2) it comes only as full fat milk (not very extensive product range), there is little or nothing else to buy. Of course, you can always go for pasteurized milk, which can be in the supermarket shelf for years, and wont expire. Obviously, does not even taste close to real milk.

Almost every country I travelled to, there is a wide range of fresh milk brands and types (full fat, low fat, skimmed, with calcium, etc...). Just came from Australia and was the same case, but everytime I go to spain I have to go back to the sad, tasteless, boring, anti-milk.

Unfortunately, Spaniards do not have anything to compare against, so they believe what they drink is milk, but in fact is not.

:-(

Please don’t look at my cellulite!

One of the things that shocked me when I arrived to Kuwait is that I cannot stroll as I came into this world in the female changing rooms of my gym.

Being naked as a female in a female changing room is considered offensive. I was indeed very intrigued by this rule, and I wondered how this would work… If I cannot change my clothes in a changing room, where am I suppose to do it?!?

After some arduous inquiries and investigations, I discovered that there were some “micro-changing-rooms” within the female changing room, to ensure adherence to the cultural traditions.

I am very determined to respect the cultural aspects of Kuwait but this requires from me an extra effort, let me explain myself.

Every time I rush to the gym (always late) I have to do many stopovers: to my closed to leave my bags, then to the micro-changing-room, then back to my closed to leave my clothes, then rush to the stairs to go up to Pilates… By the time I reach the Pilates class I am: (1) late and (2) exhausted, and still I have to listen to my beloved teacher Amira looking at me and saying: “Lift your legs higher, tighten your abdominals...” While I look at her asking for clemency and wondering if she would ever be aware of my “changing-room-productivity-impact” syndrome…

The fact is cultural. The question is “WHY”. Will the other females be offended by seeing my cellulite (no matter my efforts -always in vain- to fight it)? Will I be transposed by the fact of seeing the luscious gluts from my female neighbor? Haven’t we women all been born the same?

Are there private changing rooms in all schools and universities in Kuwait? Do girls grow up hiding from each other in Kuwait? If not, when does the hiding process start? It is to me very, very mysterious…

For the time being, I will keep on hiding… Otherwise, I would definitely create a cultural clash.

The 5 most convenient things about Kuwait

Some of my spanish friends do not fully understand why I live in Kuwait, when I could be living in wonderful Barcelona. Far from family and friends, too hot in summer, no wine, no tapas, censorship, lack of cultural offer... "What the hell are you doing there?" they ask me over and over.

Is true that the fact of being far from home (in Kuwait or elsewhere) has many disadvantages, but in this post I would like to list some of the top conveniences of living in Kuwait, country where I fell very welcomed and happy.

[In another post I will talk about things I love about Kuwait, these are merely convenient things I don't have in Spain]

1. No taxes:

In Spain I could be paying about 30% of my income to the government. As a Spanish friend of mine used to say, I would be working from Jan to April for the government and only in May start to earn money for myself. IS NOT FUN.

2. No household to-do's:

I LOVE IT. No cleaning, no vacuuming, no ironing, no NOTHING. Siriyani, my maid, does everything for me. Still I cook, because I like it, but I do not have to clean all the mess and utensils used for the matter.

3. More flexibility:

Recently I went over all the bureaucratic procedures you can imagine for obtaining visa residence, civil ID, driving license, importing car... The process was very painful because was ever changing, specially the residence and car import processes, BUT at the same time, the government representatives would allow me for some flexibility. Specially, I have to admit, if you are a female and you know how to play it.

Ladies, if you have issues with bureaucracy, DO NOT SEND YOUR MANDOUBs (messenger), go yourselves!

A carefully calculated smile and a "help me please, me poor spaniard", would do magic...

A couple of references to Futbol Club Barcelona and a couple of spontaneous words in my rudimentary arabic, would make me obtain the necessary approvals....

4. No "sardine-box-sized" apartments

My apartment in Barcelona has 55 sq. m. It has a kitchen, living room, 2 rooms, a bathroom and balcony. My closed neighbor has only one room, instead of two, AND has a baby, which sleeps in the living room, since there is no space. ALL SAID.

In Kuwait I am leaving in 300 sq. m: 3 rooms, 2 living rooms, maid room, washing room... My parking places have the size of my living room in BCN and the maid room here in kuwait is as big as my masterbedroom in BCN... And we are talking of a 400.000 Euro apartment, no peanuts!

My mom always says that I will have to sell my clothes prior to moving back to BCN, since they wont fit in my 55sq. m sardine-box. I'm not sure whether she is joking...

5. Increased safety:

I have been robbed twice in BCN, (once with a knife!) and I have many friends and family members which also have been robbed. In Kuwait, I never had any issue and my perception so far is that it is a much safer country (at least regarding pick-pocketing, we'll talk about road safety in another post...)

New car? Please remove the plastics...

Can someone explain me why in Kuwait people keep the plastics covering the seats when buying a new car? Everytime I see one of these cars, I can't help laughing.

I have two theories: (1) they want to protect the car from spots and dirt OR (2) they want to express themselves "in-case-you-did-not-notice-I-have-a-new-car-please-do"

Option 1: Discarded. Why old cars do not seem to have any cover? In many shops you can easily buy adjustable covers which would protect from eroding the seats, BUT strangely enough very few cars have that.

Option 2: Potential explanation? I am not sure how the plate number system works here in Kuwait, but in some countries (like Spain) you can clearly see by the number plate if a car is new or old (by using a system created with consecutive numbers and letters). Maybe the Kuwaiti system does not work this way, and is the only way to SHOW OFF?

Guys, girls, please please remove the plastics! Nothings looks more cheap than a car with its plastics still on. Why aren't these people wearing their new clothes with the price and brand tags? At the end of the day, they are new as well...

Oh, boy...